Getting a woman craving for you can be a really tall order. Observing from afar, it can be baffling in terms of what would make a woman get fascinated by a specific kind of man. Some guys believe that you need to have a nice sculptured body, a bulging bank account or the looks of Richard Gere in order to create desire in women. Seeing things like this will not improve your position.

You might be astonished to know what really draws a womans attention. On the other hand, this does provide some optimisim that women are not all after material things. Let us look at some dating secrets which will appeal to you.

1. In order for a woman to pine for you, she needs to be on a similar level as you. If you fall into the trap of seeing her as a goddess and you as a helpless being, you will be in a tough spot from the word go and it will be impossible to then see her for who she is. Just understand that she is similar to you, and you do not have to be overawed by her.

2. Women need to feel excited being with you in order to pine for you. This applies to both sides, as it gives you a morale boost and creates a feel good feeling. You do not want to come across as someone who will bore her stiff, as this will drive her away from you.

3. You need to keep her continuously guessing what you will do next for her to be eager to meet you next. When you act like most other men, who do the same old routine of dinner, movies and then hope for the best that she will be impressed enough to want to go back to their home. There will be no longing from her to next meet with you. Figure out something unique, which can be skiing or toboganning.

Try to incorporate the above dating advice for men into your next date, and you might start seeing her crave more for you.

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Women tend to keep secrets from their husbands for a variety of reasons;  it could be from intense amounts of shame, to fear of losing the relationship, to past relationship wounds, to the fear of the packed away emotions exploding out and losing control, etc.

Some secrets are buried for good reasons….and keeping that secret hidden, kept inside can create a sense of feeling in control and emotionally safe.  These deep, dark buried secrets are scary for many to open up and share the vulnerable issue.  It can feel as if they won’t be able to maintain control, and that the over flowing emotions may not ever have an “end” in sight.  It can simply be scary to open up, to feel the emotion.  Feeling the emotion alone can be terrifying, and the unknown of what could happen if they open up Pandora’s Box…and not ever being able to put it back.

Some secrets are only exposed to a specific person, depending on the closeness and emotional security.

If we peel away the layers of human interaction, people ultimately have a need to feel safe and secure with others if they expose a secret, take a risk and get vulnerable with their mate.  Safe and secure meaning: the relationship may be at a loss, fear of being judged, attacked, and/or fear being misunderstood. And if a partner does not take the risk to share the personal secret, it is most likely attached to this concept of not feeling safe and secure about the relationship.

Well, that’s obvious….a woman’s weight and age.  These are two “NEVER have to tell” rules for women.

On the other hand, women don’t need to tell any secret to their mate if they don’t want to. Plain and simple.  Non-disclosure is choice, yet it can come with various consequences in the long run.   Overall, there are very few things that people can lie about where it doesn’t come with some sort of obstacle, problem, or impact on a relationship.

The dangerous part of keeping a secret from your partner is generally not the content of the lie, but it is the act of deception.

The caution is to think about the impact it would have on the relationship if your partner found out later on down the road.   Some white lies or omitted information can still come off as lying or hurting a relationship.  Determine the severity of it and how it may come across.  You don’t have to expose every little personal detail of your past.  Share at your comfort level.  It is your choice.

Ex- Relationships: As much as you want to be honest with your partners, men really don’t want to know how much better in bed your ex-boyfriend was than him.  Be satisfied with the knowledge of your previous sexual experiences and understand that your relationship will be better for your dirty little secret to be kept unsaid. In truth, all things from a previous relationship…things that were private between the two of you, should be treated delicately.  Go on the verge of caution when discussing your sexual experiences with your ex.  Men take much pride on their bedroom performance.  He might hate to know that you lied to him, but he might hate even more knowing about your ex’s performance in bed.

Readiness: Some things are very personal, such as a molestation or rape, and your inability to even discuss the topic may lead to half truths and lies.  Although these items may be best shared eventually (and the sharing may help you heal), the timing is vital and if you aren’t ready, then it isn’t time.  Start at your own individual counseling and then work your way up.

Your Friend’s Secrets: If you have been told something in confidence, there is no reason to break that trust and share the secret with your partner.  Tread lightly and pick and choose.  Maintaining a secret for your friend may lead to a web of lies, so once again tread lightly.  If you told your friend that you would keep the information a secret, keep that secret to the best that you can.

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So what about secrets?

Have you ever tried to keep a secret from someone (like your spouse or partner) and keeping the secret from them started creating even bigger problems for you?

This is what happened to one woman who wrote to us recently asking for advice.

She had found herself in a really uncomfortable situation as a result of not telling the truth to her husband.

She didn’t know how to deal with her situation after she realized that her lie was going to be an even bigger problem for her than if she’d actually told the truth in the first place.
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This woman told us that there was a secret she had been keeping from her husband and when he had asked her about, she had lied to him and denied his accusations.

Now she wants to talk to him about it but doesn’t know how since she already told him something that wasn’t true.

You may not have this particular problem but we’re guessing that at some time or another you have wanted to go back and amend something that you said or did and didn’t quite know how to do it.

Maybe you have or haven’t lied about something as this woman did–but you still may have had problems bringing up something unpleasant or uncomfortable with someone else.

So here’s the thing…

There’s no shortcut when this happens and no “easy” way to save face, especially when there have been lies.

But you know what’s worse?

Allowing the lie, uncomfortable feelings or “withhold” as one of our teachers called it to build walls between the two of you is much worse than dealing with it.

Susie met with a group of women last week and one of the women brought up something that was uncomfortable for her to say and for others to hear.

This woman said what she needed to say–a couple of other women were thinking the same thing–and the issue was brought out in the open for discussion.

Even though it was an uncomfortable situation, if this woman had not said what she was feeling, the group would have lost its cohesiveness and there would have been an unnamed tension that hadn’t been there before.

Although this issue wasn’t about confessing to a lie as our reader asked about, the same kind of courage and authenticity has to be present in both situations.

So how do you deal with talking about something unpleasant with someone, which may be confessing to giving wrong information in a previous discussion and ‘fessing up to a lie?

Here are a few pointers to help you…

1. Connect with what you’re feeling and what your “truth” is.

If you need to, take some time and write out what your truth is before you try to speak it.

2. Choose a time when you can be alone and not distracted to talk with the other person. Do this privately and not in a public place like a restaurant. Provide a “safe space” where you both can express what you need to say
without being on public display.

Look at your intentions and make sure they aren’t to hurt the other person, get revenge or to make the other person wrong but rather to set the record straight for the future health of your relationship.

3. Make sure you keep breathing and center yourself before you speak.

You might take some deep breaths, bringing the breath into your belly and down to your toes before you exhale. Focus your attention on the place just below your navel to stay grounded.

4. Let the other person know how important he or she is to you.

You might use our “Magic Words” phrase “Our relationship is really important to me…” to start your conversation.

5. Say what’s true for you–and make it only about you.

If, like our reader, you’ve told a lie, you can explain why the lie came out of your mouth in the first place.

*Maybe you reacted out of fear of losing your partner’s love

*Maybe you didn’t want to hurt him or her, but in telling the lie, you realize that you created more hurt and mistrust.

*Maybe you just weren’t courageous enough to tell the truth at that time but now you are.

Keep in mind that these aren’t excuses and don’t excuse the lie–if there was one.

This information does, however, let the other person know what you were thinking at the time.

If you’re trying to deal with a lie you told, explain how you are willing to make amends now if the person is willing to listen.

6. Stay open to the other person and allow whatever emotions are there to come up.

If he or she becomes angry, listen but don’t put yourself in a position to get hurt if the anger gets physical or out of control.

If the other person withdraws or leaves and won’t talk with you, try to talk again at a later time.

If he or she still isn’t willing to talk with you, you can write your thoughts in a letter and send it.

Remember, if you have lied and you’ve been questioned about it, the mistrust is already there.

Being courageous and telling the truth is the first step to regaining and rebuilding trust–although there are no guarantees that the other person will trust you again.

Trust is built in every moment and it starts with being authentic and allowing the “real” you to be present.

This is also how love expands and grows.

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One thing we’ve discovered about love, relationships, marriage and how to stay in love is…

Great relationships DO NOT happen by accident…

In fact, it’s true about not only your relationships, but everything in life…

A great anything does not happen by accident…

Take couples who “fall in love” and “stay in love” for example…

What we’ve found is that “falling in love” and “staying in love” are two different things.

The falling in love is certainly easier than the staying in love, but for the couples who somehow manage to do both the question is…

How do they do it?

How do these couples seem to beat the odds and do what most couples can’t seem to do?

There are several ways that couples keep the fires stoked and burning long after the honeymoon period of the
relationship is over.

Here are a few..

Secret # 1

Couples who stay in love seem to actually talk to each other differently than couples who are headed for divorce court…

Not only do these couples talk to each other differently, but they also use different words than the rest of us when they talk to each other….

They use “magic words” that seem to help open their partner instead of shut him or her down–

They use words that keep their partner interested instead of bored–

In any relationship, what we’ve found is that words can wound and words can heal.

We’ve found that the right words truly can make all the difference between whether you stay in love or your relationship becomes a divorce or breakup statistic–

That’s why we’ve put together a collection of the best words you could ever say to your partner if you want to stay in love or even rebuild a love that’s faded over time.

We call these “Magic Relationship Words.”

Secret #2

Couples who “fall in love” AND “stay in love” over a long period of time “ditch competition.”

We can’t tell you how many times we’ve seen it in our Relationship Breakthrough Coaching work with couples…

Couples compete with each other about big and small things (even in playful ways) and sit around in amazement
when the life has been sucked out of their relationship or marriage and they are left wondering…

Why?

The reason is simple:

In our opinion, there is no room for competition in a relationship between couples who are intimate partners or married.

If you doubt whether this is true or not…

Try this…

The next time that you and your intimate partner or spouse have a friendly little competition about anything, when
you are finished, ask yourself one very easy question:

“Do I feel closer and more connected to him or her or do I feel distant and more disconnected?”

We’re willing to bet that you’ll feel more disconnected if there is any kind of competition between the two of you.

Of all the people we have ever worked with personally and those who have gone through our “Should You Stay
or Should You Go?” program for deciding whether to stay in or leave a relationship, not one of these people has ever said to us…

“I feel like we’re really on the same team here–we’re splitting up!”

It just doesn’t happen.

Here’s the Susie and Otto rule for this:

In order to “stay in love,” make sure that you and your partner or spouse ALWAYS play on the same team.

The potential challenges, upsets and heartbreak are just too great if you don’t.

Secret # 3

Couples who “fall in love” AND “Stay in Love” remind themselves and each other regularly about what they like,
love and appreciate about each other.

Just last night, Susie asked Otto…

“What do you most appreciate about me?”

To many people, it may seem kind of silly for a couple who’s been together as long as we’ve been together to be telling each other what we appreciate about each other all the time.

But it works–

Try this with your partner every so often and notice the difference it makes in your relationship.

Simply say to your partner:

“Something I really appreciate about you is____________”

And then fill in the blank with what you like, love or appreciate about him or her.

This alone can sometimes work miracles in a relationship or marriage.

As you may know, we just came out with a brand new program specifically for women who want to know whether their man is lying to them or cheating. It’s called, “Where There’s Smoke There’s Fire: How To Tell If Your Man Is A Cheating Liar.

While we were putting together this program, we couldn’t help but think about how much less frequently this would occur in relationships if both men and women appreciated each other more.

Please know that we’re not naive enough to think that in all cases simply “appreciating each other more” will solve all your relationship ills.

We’re not suggesting that at all.

What we are saying is that it’s been our experience that when you tell your partner, spouse or lover how much you like, love and appreciate him or her in specific ways on a regular basis, –your relationship really sings.

View the original article here

Whether you are married or single, relationships take work. The secret to making a relationship last isn’t rocket science, but it can tend to get lost on people as they pursue the barrage of activities in daily life. Jobs, families, kids, school, financial pressures, social pressures etc can all take their toll and cause us to lose sight of what it really takes on a regular basis to making a relationship last.

Making a relationship last involves establishing and continuing to enrich and nurture the following:

Share a common goal with each other – Couples who are working towards something together share that dream, and it supports everything they do. Also, working on a common goal together makes it a lot more likely to achieve.Good sexual chemistry – You had it when you first got together and you may still have it now. But it can diminish over time and you have to search for new ways to reignite the passion and the emotion that drew you together.Learn the “art” of fighting – Better communication often just means better fighting. I would argue that you don’t have to “fight” at all. There is a right way and a wrong way.Be best friends – Might sound corny but it’s what will sustain you long term. True friends have trust, intimacy and can withstand conflicts, no matter what they may be.Make the relationship your #1 priority – Treat your relationship as a third person separate from the two of you. It then becomes less about “me” and more about “we.”Be able to weather life’s tough challenges – Couples who are in it for the long haul will be tested at some point. When the two of you are hit with “the big one” how will you respond?Balance your time together and apart – It is vital that you achieve a healthy balance in your time with each other and your time pursuing your own separate interests.There you have it. Sounds easy right? Obviously not, so how do you actually make these things happen in your own relationship?

There is a fantastic action plan available that has been featured on Oprah and over 500 radio and television programs. It has literally transformed marriages and relationships for thousands of couples! To learn more about it click here. And don’t forget my free gift “4 Critical Steps” you must take following the breakup.

Article Source:http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=AJ_Morrison

View the Original article

Great relationships DO NOT happen by accident…

In fact, it’s true about not only your relationships, but everything in life…

A great anything does not happen by accident…

Take couples who “fall in love” and “stay in love” for example…

What we’ve found is that “falling in love” and “staying in love” are two different things.

The falling in love is certainly easier than the staying in love, but for the couples who somehow manage to do both the question is…

How do they do it?

How do these couples seem to beat the odds and do what most couples can’t seem to do?

There are several ways that couples keep the fires stoked and burning long after the honeymoon period of the relationship is over.

We’re going to share a few of those secrets with you today…

Secret # 1

Couples who stay in love seem to actually talk to each other differently than couples who are headed for divorce court…

Not only do these couples talk to each other differently, but they also use different words than the rest of us when they talk to each other….

They use “magic words” that seem to help open their partner instead of shut him or her down–

They use words that keep their partner interested instead of bored–

In any relationship, what we’ve found is that words can wound and words can heal.

We’ve found that the right words truly can make all the difference between whether you stay in love or your relationship becomes a divorce or breakup statistic–

That’s why we’ve put together a collection of the best words you could ever say to your partner if you want to stay in love or even rebuild a love that’s faded over time.

We call these “Magic Relationship Words.”

And if you’d like to have our collection of 101 of these magic words and phrases to help you say it right with your
partner, you can download them here… http://www.MagicRelationshipWords.com

Secret #2

Couples who “fall in love” AND “stay in love” over a long period of time “ditch competition.”

We can’t tell you how many times we’ve seen it in our Relationship Breakthrough Coaching work with couples…

Couples compete with each other about big and small things (even in playful ways) and sit around in amazement
when the life has been sucked out of their relationship or marriage and they are left wondering…

Why?

The reason is simple:

In our opinion, there is no room for competition in a relationship between couples who are intimate partners or married.

If you doubt whether this is true or not…

Try this…

The next time that you and your intimate partner or spouse have a friendly little competition about anything, when you are finished, ask yourself one very easy question:

“Do I feel closer and more connected to him or her or do I feel distant and more disconnected?”

We’re willing to bet that you’ll feel more disconnected if there is any kind of competition between the two of you.

Of all the people we have ever worked with personally and those who have gone through our “Should You Stay
or Should You Go?” program for deciding whether to stay in or leave a relationship.

Not one of these people has ever said to us…

“I feel like we’re really on the same team here–we’re splitting up!”

It just doesn’t happen.

Here’s the Susie and Otto rule for this:

In order to “stay in love,” make sure that you and your partner or spouse ALWAYS play on the same team.

The potential challenges, upsets and heartbreak are just too great if you don’t.

Secret # 3

Couples who “fall in love” AND “Stay in Love” remind themselves and each other regularly about what they like, love and appreciate about each other.

Just last night, Susie asked Otto…

“What do you most appreciate about me?”

To many people, it may seem kind of silly for a couple who’s been together as long as we’ve been together to be telling each other what we appreciate about each other all the time.

But it works–

Try this with your partner every so often and notice the difference it makes in your relationship.

Simply say to your partner:

“Something I really appreciate about you is____________”

And then fill in the blank with what you like, love or appreciate about him or her.

This alone can sometimes work miracles in a relationship or marriage.

As you may know, we just came out with a brand new program specifically for women who want to know whether their man is lying to them or cheating.

While we were putting together this program, we couldn’t help but think about how much less frequently this would occur in relationships if both men and women appreciated each other more.

Please know that we’re not naive enough to think that in all cases simply “appreciating each other more” will solve all your relationship ills.

We’re not suggesting that at all.

What we are saying is that it’s been our experience that when you tell your partner, spouse or lover how much you like, love and appreciate him or her in specific ways on a regular basis, –your relationship really sings.

View the Original article

Now on the flip side when things go nasty the  exact opposite can be correct.  And on the other hand, when everything starts being tricky and awkward, then it can be a real wake up call. Suddenly it can feel as though the entire world is closing in on you, and you have no-one to get help and support from, because the person you are having the problems with is the same particular person you would previously have asked for help!  Because you suddenly have a wake up call that the world does have clouds, and that there may be problems in paradise when it comes to the way things are with your boyfriend.

 So, what happens next? Well, often times things can just keep on cascading downwards and and you find yourself at the point where you split up and getting your ex back is the furthest thing from your mind!. And having reached this stage you will typically find one of two scenarios:

1/ Its sad. But honestly, you are generally glad to see the back of them
2/ That now that you are on your own the tension had decreased and you can relax a little.

Now these emotions may be real and they may last for a little while. But seeing as you are browsing this, my guess is that you have had the realisation that you still miss them! And if that bolt from the blue does hit you then you may well approach it in one of two ways. Either ignore it as natural behaviour after a breakup, or else set to work on plotting how you can get back with him.

All of these thoughts may well be totally or at least partly true. But the fact remains that if you miss your ex boyfriend then something is going on, and you need to deal with it. Now, dealing with it doesn’t neccessarily mean that you should learn how to get my ex boyfriend back so that you can be together again. Though, that is obviously one way to go.

In any case, you will want to dig into your own reasoning as to why you really want him back. Was he great company? Did he make you laugh? Did he have a sexy bottom that you can still picture in your mind?  Now, pain in the arse though he could be you still rather miss him. You can probably picture it in your mind right now, or else hear what he might have said to you in your current position. What would his advice have been? And it is actually relatively easy to come to the conclusion that getting your ex back is something that you should be doing sooner rather then later. As it is easy to guage that relationships have both good and bad elements, and that even though you clearly did break-up, that the situation can be reprived if you are both willing to work at it.

If you do think about your ex boyfriend now then ask yourself, “What kind of emotions does this bring up in me?” There is no need to be shy. The fact is that all this contemplation is going on in your own head, and you need to start being honest with yourself. It is only by tapping into that honesty that you can really be sure of whether you truly want to get back with him or not. Its a zero sum game. You either do or you don’t. You shouldn’t do half measures. You are worth more then that.

Analysis done. Good news. The next step is far easier. This is the ‘doing it’ stage. This is the part where many women start to panic because they haven’t got a clue as to how they should start. In reality though this is the easy bit! You can read a comprehensive guide to getting your ex boyfriend back here which really digs into the nitty gritty details that you will find very useful and instructive.

  So, the good news is that you now realise that this really is possible and that you can do this. You need to take committed action and you should soon have your ex boyfriend back.

Give Before You Receive
Before receiving any sexual pleasure from her, you have to make sure she receives sexual pleasure from you first. This is so because you have control of your sexual desires and she’ll be in a more “ready” state to have an orgasm while having intercourse, and after she has an orgasm, she’ll be ready and willing to reciprocate to the best of her abilities.

Effects of Stress on Your Partner
If the stress and pressure get too high, she may be left unsatisfied. And because you have set this “goal” to have an orgasm in a first place, and now that the goal is un-met, both you and your partner will be left feeling disappointed. If this approach is sustained, you may wind up anchoring these feelings of disappointment to your times of physical intimacy – carrying it over into your next sexual encounter, further increasing her “performance anxiety.”

Communication
Not every technique will work on every woman. One woman may prefer one particular stroke or rhythm more than the next woman does. To find out what really makes your woman tick, you’ve got to open the lines of communication. You need to find out what she likes as you’re applying a technique.  That way, you can optimize your rhythm, speed, stroke etc. to match what she likes best. Communicating well with your partner can make it much easier to bring her pleasure, and ultimately, more and better orgasms.

Escalation
One of the biggest mistake men make is moving too fast, too soon.  It works fine for us, but for a woman, she might not be ready yet. For guys, we can come to an orgasm very quickly.  Men basically need to get aroused, stimulated, and we’re done. Women, on the other hand, need a gradual escalation to come to a point of orgasm.

Anticipation and Tension
In order to multiply the effects of your sexual techniques, you’ll have to add anticipation into the mix. Anticipation will get her more aroused, give her a greater chance to have an orgasm and focuses her mind on the physical pleasure she’s experiencing. And…while you’re building up anticipation, at the same time you’re cranking up sexual tension as well. The sexual tension will have to be released (in the form of an orgasm).