Nothing can be more frustrating than being in a relationship for a long time and never talk about marriage. if your man won’t commit, you might start to think if you are wasting your time. Although it is true that a lasting relationship may not need to include marriage, but if you are looking forward to having kids, or a stronger bond can be created through marriage, then a trip to the altar is something you need to do. Men often tells you that there is nothing you can do to change the mind of a commitment phobic. That isn’t always true. There is always something you can do to make a man suddenly decide he wants to marry you.

If your man don’t commit, the very last thing you need to do is to nag at him. A man won’t simply decide he wants to marry the woman he love because she keep going on and on about it. In fact, your constant nagging make him more convince in his decision of not marrying you. One of the best thing any woman can do to make a man commit is to stop bringing the subject up. Men expect to be bombarded by questions on where his relationship is headed. If you don’t bring the subject up, he will be thinking more and more about it.

Another great approach to take if your man doesn’t commit is to make yourself less accessible. One of the issues of long term relationship where there seem to be no commitment is how woman seem to be available. When a woman is always available and willing to adapt to meet her boyfriend’s schedule she’s silently telling him that his needs are more important than hers.

A great test of a man’s true feelings is to make yourself scarce for a few days or weeks. Plan a trip with your girlfriend and when you are out of town, try not to contact your man too often. You want to create a senario where he will start missing you when you are away. It’s that longing to see you that will push him to want to be together with you permanently.

So start testing your man and get him committed.

Do you have any insights to share? Feel free to leave  a comment or two. Happy relationship!

Interrupting can be a bad habit….and it automatically shuts down lines of communication. When we are so eager and in hurry to get our point across, it is difficult to slow down and not interrupt the other person.  The quick interjection and cutting off the other person sends out a bad message that they don’t matter. The receiving end can feel as if your invisible, what you have to say does not matter, and you’re not important.    There are good intentions bind this approach, yet it unfortunately sends the opposite message.

Here are a few quick tips on how to stop the bad habit of interrupting:

Remember it’s Not Your Turn: Remind yourself that it is your partner’s turn to talk.  Have your mind focused on your partner and what they are saying.  It is their turn, so your job is to simply listen and try to understand what it is like to be in their shoes.

Bite your Tongue: If you disagree or have something to say, bite your tongue, pinch your arm, and count to 10 in your head.  Slow down your response and help keep yourself ground by biting your tongue.

Breathe: Take a deep breath to calm down your reaction and remember that you want your partner to be active in the relationship.  Sometimes just taking a breath will help slow down our reactions.

Take a Mental Note: If something comes to mind, take a mental note to share your point of view later.  Your voice and your views matter, so take note of it and bring it up when it is your turn to talk.

Active Listening: Put into practice the active listening tool.  Your job at that moment is to show your partner that you are listening, try to understand what your partner is saying, and stop thinking about what your next response will be.  Start active listening, stop talking, and stop the active interruptions.

Value Your Partner: Successful communication is to make your partner feel important, emotionally safe, and that they matter.  When communicating, make it your personal goal to send the message that your partner is important and what they have to say matters. Remember that your partner has value.

Take Turns: Create 20 minutes of uninterrupted discussions and take turns sharing your views, ideas, and thoughts.  One person gets to be the talker and other person gets to be the listener.  Take turns on each side.

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Women tend to keep secrets from their husbands for a variety of reasons;  it could be from intense amounts of shame, to fear of losing the relationship, to past relationship wounds, to the fear of the packed away emotions exploding out and losing control, etc.

Some secrets are buried for good reasons….and keeping that secret hidden, kept inside can create a sense of feeling in control and emotionally safe.  These deep, dark buried secrets are scary for many to open up and share the vulnerable issue.  It can feel as if they won’t be able to maintain control, and that the over flowing emotions may not ever have an “end” in sight.  It can simply be scary to open up, to feel the emotion.  Feeling the emotion alone can be terrifying, and the unknown of what could happen if they open up Pandora’s Box…and not ever being able to put it back.

Some secrets are only exposed to a specific person, depending on the closeness and emotional security.

If we peel away the layers of human interaction, people ultimately have a need to feel safe and secure with others if they expose a secret, take a risk and get vulnerable with their mate.  Safe and secure meaning: the relationship may be at a loss, fear of being judged, attacked, and/or fear being misunderstood. And if a partner does not take the risk to share the personal secret, it is most likely attached to this concept of not feeling safe and secure about the relationship.

Well, that’s obvious….a woman’s weight and age.  These are two “NEVER have to tell” rules for women.

On the other hand, women don’t need to tell any secret to their mate if they don’t want to. Plain and simple.  Non-disclosure is choice, yet it can come with various consequences in the long run.   Overall, there are very few things that people can lie about where it doesn’t come with some sort of obstacle, problem, or impact on a relationship.

The dangerous part of keeping a secret from your partner is generally not the content of the lie, but it is the act of deception.

The caution is to think about the impact it would have on the relationship if your partner found out later on down the road.   Some white lies or omitted information can still come off as lying or hurting a relationship.  Determine the severity of it and how it may come across.  You don’t have to expose every little personal detail of your past.  Share at your comfort level.  It is your choice.

Ex- Relationships: As much as you want to be honest with your partners, men really don’t want to know how much better in bed your ex-boyfriend was than him.  Be satisfied with the knowledge of your previous sexual experiences and understand that your relationship will be better for your dirty little secret to be kept unsaid. In truth, all things from a previous relationship…things that were private between the two of you, should be treated delicately.  Go on the verge of caution when discussing your sexual experiences with your ex.  Men take much pride on their bedroom performance.  He might hate to know that you lied to him, but he might hate even more knowing about your ex’s performance in bed.

Readiness: Some things are very personal, such as a molestation or rape, and your inability to even discuss the topic may lead to half truths and lies.  Although these items may be best shared eventually (and the sharing may help you heal), the timing is vital and if you aren’t ready, then it isn’t time.  Start at your own individual counseling and then work your way up.

Your Friend’s Secrets: If you have been told something in confidence, there is no reason to break that trust and share the secret with your partner.  Tread lightly and pick and choose.  Maintaining a secret for your friend may lead to a web of lies, so once again tread lightly.  If you told your friend that you would keep the information a secret, keep that secret to the best that you can.

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Sometimes our partner, friend, or family member might share a stressful story, discuss their daily struggle, or express concerns about a topic…. But you have no idea what response might be the proper one.  How do you know what they need during a chat, whether it’s just a willing an ear to listen or to give constructive advice?  This is no simple task…no matter if it is for friendships or intimate relationships.

Here are a few hints about how you might pick up on which one they might need:

Ask what they want: We can read minds…so if you don’t know what they want, simply ask if they want advice, to figure out a solution, or to simply be a sounding board.  You won’t ever really know what they want unless you find out directly from them. Never assume what your friend wants.  Check in ask what you can do to be helpful. Ask if they want to hear a few of your ideas or suggestions, and respect what your friend says they want or need. Never assume what your friend wants.

Phrases Used: If your partner or friend says, “I don’t know what to do,” this is a great place to ask if they’d like a few ideas or to brainstorm ideas together.  Pauses are also signs that you can share some ideas and give your feedback. Ask them if they want any suggestions and find out what options they have compiled.  Most people usually try problem solving and have come up with a variety of options to dealing with the stress, yet still feel overwhelmed by the situation.  Don’t just simply toss out constructive advice if they don’t ask for it.   Ask what they have come up with for options before you over load them problem solving.

Non-Verbal Cues: Some people show the sign of simply “releasing the steam” by endless talk about the problem and hardly ever speaking of a solution.  When people discuss the problem over and over and over, this can be a sign that your friend/partner simply is looking for a sounding board.  But don’t rely on this alone, people aren’t predictable and may want help solving the problem.  Be quick to listen, slow to speak…pay attention if your friend is asking for help or simply describing a difficult situation. If your friend/partner pauses often, this might be a sign that they are looking for help or guidance.  Tell her /him that you have a few ideas and ask if they would be open to hearing the ideas.  Don’t push suggestions if she/he isn’t asking you for it.

Don’t GUESS What They Want: One of the biggest mistakes is to guess what your friend or partner might need.  Humans are unpredictable; we change our minds daily, hourly, minute-by-minute, and emotion-by-emotion.  So don’t guess and “try” different things each time.   Instead, stop your quick knee-jerk reaction to give advice that you think they might want or to solve the problem.  Listen to the big picture of the story.  Try to understand what they are facing, and then ask what they need.

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Since it’s “vacation season” here in the US, we’ve had more than one couple tell us how they are wondering if they’ve spent too much time together for their own good…

In just a moment, we’ll give you our thoughts about whether it’s really possible to spend TOO much time together but
first, we want to tell you about something we’re doing in just a few days for men.

As you may recall, Otto has just launched his new website for MEN and is giving away a free ebook called “10 Keys To Lighting Up Your Woman” to every man who signs up for his newsletter.

Also… something Otto just announced is that we’re doing a teleseminar for men in just a few days called “10 Things EVERY Woman Wants From Her Man AND How You Can Give These Things To Her.” If you’re a guy and want to find out more, check it out.

As record heat fries the eastern half of the USA (including where we live) over the past few days, experts warn of the dangers of over-exposure to our bodies.

It’s just plain hot.

Even if you aren’t struggling with this heat wave where you live, chances are you’ve taken some kind of vacation
with your family or maybe gotten together with family or friends for an extended time together.

If you have ever spent some extended time with more intense interaction than you normally do, there’s also a pretty good chance that with all of this social interaction and “togetherness,” you might feel a bit “over-exposed” to the ones you love.

You might have felt like there was a little too much togetherness and your love (and patience) may have been tested .

After a brief vacation together, one family we know found themselves picking arguments with each other that was out of the ordinary for them.

The dad made the comment to us that “We’ve been together a little bit too too long right now.”

What we know is that “over-exposure to the ones we love” feeling, along with the stresses that vacations can bring–heat, dealing with crowds of people, trying to get around in unfamiliar places, erratic eating schedules or rich and unfamiliar food –can certainly play havoc in the best relationships, even if you think you’re doing pretty well.

If you can relate…

Here are some specific ways you might react when you’ve been together a little too long or have “vacation-itis” and
some suggestions to “cool” down your and others’ emotions and reactions…

1. Communication misfires that come up now and then seem to be exaggerated and over-blown.

Carla and her husband Jay rented a kayak when they were vacationing together in the Great Lakes region.

Being relatively new to kayaking, they found that they became very irritated with one another as they tried to paddle (sometimes in opposite directions) to their destination.

They couldn’t establish a rhythm that worked for both of them–Carla wanted to paddle slower than Jay and he became anxious when they were out of sync.

On top of that, they each seemed to have their own “plans” for getting where they were going but “forgot” to share them with each other.

Normally, they get along pretty well but it became clear that their usual way of communicating (or not communicating) didn’t work as well when they were in one boat, trying to go in one direction.

And it was a metaphor for what happens in their life together.

Afterwards their kayak experience, Carla discovered that she pushes Jay to be the leader but then does her own thing when she feels afraid or triggered.

Jay discovered that when he gets irritated with Carla, he becomes superior and sarcastic which only makes the situation and communication worse.

We talk a lot about “magic words” that can make a big difference in your communication and if Carla or Jay had asked one of our “Magic Words” questions like this…

“How can we make this situation work better?”

…with a completely open heart, their kayak trip might have been more enjoyable.

They could even have some fun with it and imagine all kinds of ways to make their situation better–like sawing the kayak in half or skipping the paddling part and going for a swim from the boat–along with clearly talking about a plan that might help them work together.

As you can clearly see, “Magic Words” and questions like these can truly make a big difference in the quality of your communication and your love when you use them.

Another way that too much time together can create a feeling of “overexposure”…

2. Trust and jealousy issues come to the forefront.

If there are any jealousy and trust issues in a relationship, they get triggered big time in the summer when other men and women wear practically nothing.

Pam felt very uncomfortable thinking about going on a vacation with her husband Paul to the Bahamas because
of all the women in bikinis they would see on the beaches.

Normally, they didn’t go many places where she would have to endure having him look at these other women wearing practically nothing–so it wasn’t too much of a problem–except now and then.

But when Pam’s jealousy did erupt, it put a damper on everything–and she certainly didn’t want that to happen on her vacation.

In this situation, we’d recommend that Pam practice noticing her self-talk and the stories she makes up when she gets jealous.

When she identifies her “stories”–like the story that Paul wants to be with the woman in the bikini more than her, she can question whether she knows that’s true or not.

If she’s honest with herself, she’ll admit that she doesn’t know that’s true–and then she can learn to switch her
thinking to examples of when he’s shown her that he loves her.

As she changes her focus, she learns to calm her suspicious thoughts and jealousy.

3. If you’re feeling like there’s too much togetherness, you might even begin to wonder why you’re with your partner because the two of you just can’t seem to get along.

Okay, so this is extreme but it might cross your mind in the throes of conflict and when you’ve really had enough of each other.

If this happens, take a breath, take a walk by yourself or do something that will break the stale-mate that you can’t seem to get out of.

When you both are in a calmer, more centered place, talk about what you both want and need. And listen to each other.

If your disagreements are deeply-rooted and you need some help getting some resolution, don’t give up on the relationship until you’ve gotten the help of a therapist or coach.

If you want help sorting out your situation in complete privacy, we have a program “Should you stay or should you go?” that can help you.

Over-exposure to each other can be a good thing.

It can lead you to discovering some valuable things about each other that will open the door to deepening your love and connection if you’re open to working through the challenges of the moment when you get irritated or overexposed.

So have fun this summer and remember your sun

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Falling in love is easy. It’s a matter of feeling that attraction to another and then acting on it. It’s allowing yourself to feel that urge to want to be with that person above all else and share your life with him or her.

What deliciousness when it happens!

But when that feeling of being “in love” fades, you’re left with a pretty hopeless, dismal feeling.

Here’s a question a woman asked us and our answer to her…

“I have fallen out of love with my husband for the past 3 years and I am wondering if it is too late to get those ‘in love’ feelings back?”

Our answer…

Here’s the truth–Most of us move in and out of feeling “in love” with our partners. Feeling “in love” is just a concept that means something different to everyone. When things are going well and we feel close and connected–and our beloved is feeling the same, we’re in love. When one of us is not, we can find ourselves feeling love for the other but not “in love” at that moment. You may not even like him or her in those moments let alone feeling amorous love.

Now if this distance and disconnection goes on for a long time, it’s a serious problem in the relationship–especially if one or both people want more.

Can you rekindle love?

Yes, you certainly can but you both have to WANT it to happen. You can’t do it if you have one foot in the relationship and one foot out.

Here are a few ideas if you are wanting to find more time to rekindle and keep love alive in your relationship…

1. Decide what you truly want. If you want to rekindle the “fire,” then what does that mean to each of you? Talk about how you both like your connection and relationship to be without blame and without getting defensive. Be honest about what really excites you. Just be honest–with yourself and with him–because if you aren’t, you risk your relationship completely dying.

2. Focus on your positive outcome. Get on the same page, if possible, and hold that vision for how you’d like to be together. You will have the energy to move toward what you want if you just hold that as your vision for your life.

3. Make this a fun experience rather than something that “should” be done. If you don’t make it fun, you’re just going through the motions and nothing will change.

Find the time for closeness and connection. It has to feel really good in order to choose an activity that will bring you closer rather than one requires nothing of you. Even tiredness seems to dissolve when the rewards outweigh the allure of “vegging” out.

From our own lives and from observing the lives of many people, we’ve found that you can make one of two choices:

You can allow others or circumstances to dictate the course of your life or you can be a conscious creator of your life. The choice is yours.

Look inside you and then take the steps toward what you want.

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Last night we saw the 2010 remake of the movie “Death at a Funeral” and laughed harder than we’ve laughed in a long time.

We recognize that it didn’t get very good reviews but we loved it!

In the middle of all the silly, outlandish situations, there was some solid relationship advice for people–if you just looked hard enough.

Without spoiling the movie for you, we’ll just say that most of us can relate at least somewhat with the family strife, discord, grudges and misunderstandings that we saw portrayed in the film.

Brother jealous of more successful brother, mother favoring one son over another, wife feeling not approved of by mother-in-law, father not approving of daughter’s choice in men–all pretty common themes that run in “real” families, as well as this fictional family.

In the film, the family finally began to resolve their differences when several of the characters decided to change.

We loved the description of “change” from a book we’ve been reading–Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard.

The authors Chip and Dan Heath say that “someone has to start acting differently” for there to be change.

And in “Death at a Funeral” as in our lives–somebody has to decide that it’s time to act differently if change is to happen.

Here are a few ideas about how to act differently so change happens in your relationships…

1. Change the situation.

You can stop doing something or start doing something new that will change a situation for the better. Let’s say you know that you need to pay more attention to a loved one–maybe rearrange your schedule to include some time with this person. Making a change in your situation that you know you need to make but haven’t done so up until now can certainly get you out of a destructive relationship loop.

2. Change the way you think about a situation.

Changing the way you think about a situation is a powerful way to create ease and change in your life. Let’s say that you have been clinging to a relationship that maybe was once close and now it’s not–but you keep arguing with the reality of what is. Accepting that the two of you have changed and maybe want two different things out of life is a healthy step in creating some ease in the situation.

Looking honestly at “what is” can get rid of unreal expectations that create all kinds of misunderstandings and upsets.

3. Change what you tell others about the situation.

Watch the words you use to describe your problem. Stop telling and re-telling grudges and grievances you have against this person to other people. It’s amazing what can happen when you stop repeating what’s wrong with your relationships and just talk about what’s right.

Often, when you’re in a defeating loop in your relationships, you can’t see how anything can change. But change is possible if you just decide to simply act differently.

We invite you this week to look at your relationships and where you might act differently to create changes for the better!

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One way to search out guidance that may be really purposeful to your problem with all your problems is by seeking for for relationship guidance on the web. There are lots of relationship advice on the net and many types to settle on from. You’ll be able to discover relationship suggestions on the web from qualified psychiatrists, psychologists, accredited marriage counselors, or medical doctors. You’ll be able to also notice advice from tips columnists, astrologists, numerologists, or possibly any number of beliefs.

Dating sites are a wonderful place to search for information on addressing the opposite sex. The popular dating sites all have their own in-house information columnist and several additionally have forums for web surfers to forward their concerns and solutions.

Any relationship information on the world wide web should be taken with a grain of salt. Though well-intended, most guidance is dispensed with the hopes that you’ll buy a book or another product, therefore watch out what recommendations you ensue. Also remember that not all tips work for everyone, so the solution to a different’s relationship problem may not work for yours.

There are a lot of sources of information for relationship advice online, but they are basically the identical info written in numerous ways. Essentially all relationship advice, whether found in books or on the net, all follow more or less the same ethics. There are a certain amount of things you simply don’t or should not do while in a relationship that might finally cause a break up and since you’re in a relationship now and looking for advice, possibilities are you almost certainly do not want to break-up with your vital other.

Trust your partner, and they will trust you. Showing that you simply trust the person who you are with will make them trust you, and trust is one of the core ingredients to a flourishing and blissful relationship. For several folks trust is just tough to attain no matter what, however attempt to get over that. If they did not care about you they would not be in a relationship with you, no matter their past. If you have means to distrust them, talk to them frankly and strive to put your fears to rest. Paranoia is no manner to carry on with a relationship.

If you are struggling to move on, we have an excellent resource, Relationship Advice online. Check out teen relationship advice. See also how to move forward with marriage christian counseling. Click the links above to find out more.

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Some of the best marriage advice should be taken into consideration before you actually walk down the aisle. For instance, you’ll need to know how your partner handles money before you get married. Studies have shown that the main reason for divorce and marital problems is money, so once you know how your partner handles finances-and how well that compliments your money style-you can eliminate a number of arguments. If one of you is a saver and the other is a spender, it’s very important that you talk about how much money you will need to save every month, and how much you can spend on recreational activities or household decor after the bills are paid. If these types of things are not discussed beforehand, they could cause serious problems in the relationship.

Learning how your partner will handle raising children is another important piece of marriage advice that you’ll want to pay attention to. Will your partner be more of the disciplinary type? Would he or she rather leave that up to you? Even before you talk about how you will raise your kids in a marriage relationship, you and your partner need to talk about when you think you will be ready to expand your family, and how many children you want to have. Knowing this information before the wedding will make you completely aware of your partner’s expectations. It’s definitely not a good idea to wait until you want to start trying for a baby to talk about who will stay home with the child, or how long you should wait before having another baby. When your family is growing, this is cause a great deal of stress if you’re not prepared, and could damage the marriage.

Romantic relationships take a lot of maintenance as well, which is why you may get marriage advice like ‘keep the romance alive’ and ‘date as much as you can’. Even if you’re not able to go out to dinner as much as you would like, buying your partner a bouquet of flowers every once in a while, or preparing a gourmet dinner at home is a great way to keep your marriage strong and improve the family dynamic.

entrepreneur who writes on relationship issues.

More strong marriage advices and also how to save relationship and marriage, you can find at this site or visit my blog, watch videos.

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Did you know that there is a huge difference in the speed with which men get results with women when they learn dating advice for men?

It’s not as easy as just running through it and then getting a better dating life. It doesn’t happen the same way for everyone. This can be very frustrating for some men, because they are using the same dating advice for men as their friends, or peers, or guys that they are talking to on Internet forums.

But they aren’t obtaining the same results. They think they are being left behind, and that there is something, somewhat, different about them which implies they can’t be successful with women. Even during the practice of dating advice that more say give them numerous success with women.

Don’t worry if you encounter this issue.

The truth is, that the secret is in the way you learn and apply the dating advice for men. That is lengthy period causing most guys to give up before they achieve results.

According to experience (no specific figures ready yet) the information on thise are quite amazing.

Men usually take more than 24 months (2 years) to achieve the level of success they want with women. That is really lenghty time and may cause guys to giving up before achieving results. It takes place more times past the initial year of venturing.

That’s the disheartening part. The good thing about it, is that men that can adopt with different modes of learning spend under 6 months to achieve that level of success. They do this either logically or consciously.

If you aren’t fortunate enough to be a man who usually makes use of proven ways to learn dating advice for men, you can learn from the seven steps below.

These seven steps were based from accomplished research on men who learns real quick. Dating Skills Review calls them the Fast Track Dating Rules:

Quick and Easy Wins: Start by improving on some easy areas that give you some success quickly.Information Discipline: Limit the information you take in to good quality advice.Get Social: At its core dating advice for men has advice on social skills and communication. You need to apply this and internalize it through daily application.Doing is Understanding: Are you a good student? Do you have passion for reading dating advice for me? That isn’t everything about it. And there are specific step you MUST pay attention with and practicing more than others to get acquainted with it.Seeing is Believing: There is advice in dating advice for men that men can’t easily believe. Due to this, even if they are reading it, they are not doing it. You need to see this advice in action to believe and start acting on it.Accelerate Failure: The quicker you start failing, the quicker your successful results start coming in. Some failure usually happen during the process of learning dating advice for men, so don’t worry if you fail in the items identified by Fast Track. It’s need and useful thing.To Keep – ‘BE’ More: No matter what you learn to apply consciously as a skill, you will not be able to keep your ‘dream’ girl for the long term unless you actually become more.

To learn the 7 Fast Track rules and start accelerating your success with them now download the Fast Track Dating Report.

Dating advice for men is building a new world of opportunities for men. It is transforming many of their lives.

To start exploring the possibilities for yourself, start reading more dating advice for men reviews and facts. This will definitely help you make your way toward the best quality dating advice for men in order for you to be successful with women real fast.

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