When your partner’s cheated on you, you go through so many emotions from anger and rage to sadness and grief to disbelief that this could be happening in your relationship.

After the dust settles, assuming that your partner is sorry and wants to come back to you–there’s something else that arises that may not have been there before…

Jealousy

And not only jealousy of the “other man” or “other woman,” but also anyone who you think your partner might be attracted to from the server at a restaurant to good-looking actors or actresses on television.

This jealousy can become all-consuming and tear your world apart as if it could get any worse after an affair has been discovered.

Rebuilding trust after an affair is difficult enough and when you add the stress jealousy puts on a relationship, it’s nearly impossible for it to happen.

But it doesn’t have to be that way…

A week or so ago, we talked to a woman who had been cheated on by her husband and she was battling jealousy.

One thing she and her husband had going for them and why they have a better chance of regaining trust in their relationship is something so simple but not many people do it in similar situations…

This woman told us that her husband had stopped the “other” relationship and had told her that he wants their relationship to work–and he was showing signs that he meant it. He was paying more attention to her than he had in several years.

She said that although she had bouts of jealousy, she knew that focusing on the “other woman” wouldn’t get her anywhere.

She knew that focusing on her relationship with her husband instead of what he did and with whom he did it would give their marriage the chance it needed for them to find love again with each other.

Difficult?

Sure–but the alternative of focusing on what she didn’t want (her husband’s relationship with another woman) was even more difficult because it kept her in a swirl of anger, doubt and fear.

By focusing on her marriage and what she wanted to have with her husband, she’s not ignoring or justifying what he did but rather moving toward what she wants.

If you want to learn more about how jealousy works and how to “cure” it, tune into our new webcast and teleseminar “Discover the Jealousy Cure” on April 7, 2010.

Posted by Susie and Otto Collins

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