Sometimes in a relationship, the men seem to avoid the women when it comes to things like marriage and co-habiting. What is the common factor between these two issues? Commitment. The man may be afraid of the word “Commitment” and everything that relates to it.

It has nothing to do with you. Its not the character, career or social circle or anything else. And if you tried a few times, you know that you are already tried hard enough. The man may just be scared of commitment. There may be a few reasons.

First, he just does not believe in committing time to anything. He is happy in a relationship but does not believe in promising anything, especially the rest of his time. He may not have the confidence to believe that he can provide a living for the two of you. He may undervalue the concept of spending one’s whole life with another at this point of time. To him, commitment kills his freedom. He will be bound to you by a commitment called Marriage.

Second, he may be hurt from past relationship. This humiliation and fear stops him from giving 100% to your relationship and therefore he dares not make a commitment, for fear of repeat of history. You can make him think that commitment is all right as long as both are willing and committed to that aim of a happy, lasting relationship.

There are strategies to overcome this fear of commitment. Know that the change must come from himself. Understand his perception of the situation and what commitment means to him. Convince him that it is not what he thinks it is. To do that, you must first make him feel he needs someone to spend his rest of his life with. Try to be less “sticky” for a while and make him see you as a wonderful person he can gladly commit to. Know what got him interested in you in the first place and try to imitate those same qualities. This will make you look independent and confident. Then, he will realise you are someone he should not let go. This will invoke the need for commitment in him.