Arguments come from having different points of views, brought out in louder voices. Therefore discussions can replace arguments and have the same impact. Then, why do people still argue?

Because people think that someone is trying to challenge them. When it comes to perspectives, people hate to be challenged. They feel that their pride, their intelligence is at stake, and thus put a high value at winning the conversation, and that leads to arguments as voices are raised. All these can be avoided with the right mindset.

Good communication has to take place if the relationship is to remain healthy. It consists of being honest, placing the person you love above the conversation, and knowing and valuing your own views. Good communication has to be part of a good life.

To curb arguments, we have to look at the roots of why they happen.

First, people are not 100% sure of how they feel. That is very common. Not everyone knows 100% of all the issues they know. Therefore, not right knowing your feelings, you barged into the topic and sense a fear of failure, and then you raised your voice to sound stronger.

Second, most people can’t speak very well. Therefore, they fail to find the right words in line with their feelings. This is a problem of language proficiency and speaking inadequacy. This is rife, but usually is not a major cause for concern.

And then some hold back their words for fear of provoking the other. This can be sensed by the other person, and will create tension because they feel you are suspicious of something but dare not voice it out.

Here are some tips. Be frank with yourself and the other person and do not hold back. If this is not the case, nothing good will come out of the conversation if you have unsolved issues just because you did not voice them. Speak softly at all times, even when the other is yelling. Communication is not about who’s voice is louder. Identify your views, and think of how best to voice them out. Always remember to be approachable, and stay that way so that people will know you are someone they can be straight with.