One of the most interesting thing about being in love is that you are able to get the kind of love you want. If you do not realize, most of the time, the love that one gets is the same kind of love that one gave. When it comes to love, communication is the fuel that fan the flame. The words you chose can make a great difference between a dramatic relationship or one that is blissful and loving. Now that you know, let me share with you the words that men love to hear and upon hearing that, he will love you more.

Words

1. Honey

2. Sweetheart

3. Sweetie

4. Baby

5. Darling

6. Sexy

7. Fine

8. Handsome

9. Stud muffin

10. Sugar

Phrases

11. You just make me feel so good.

12. You are the best.

13. I can’t get enough of you.

14. You drive me wild.

15. You know me inside and out.

16. I love you so much.

17. I love you with all my heart and soul.

18. You make me laugh.

19. You are so funny.

20. I love the way you love me.

21. I love the way you make me feel.

22. I never want you to stop loving me.

23. I don’t know what I would do without you in my life.

24. You make me feel so special.

25. I need you in my life.

26. You just made my day.

27. I can’t get enough of your hugs and kisses.

28. I apologize.

29. I promise to love you forever.

30. You are the one for me.

31. I don’t need anyone else in my life.

32. You are more than enough for me.

33. Marry me and make me the happiest woman.

34. I have always loved you and will always love you.

35. I miss you so much.

36. I am so lonely without you.

37. My life is empty without you.

38. I can’t wait to see you.

39. I want to be with you forever.

40. I love the way you hold me.

41. It kills me to know that you will be gone for a long time.

42. I feel like I am dreaming when I am with you.

43. I have never been loved like this before.

44. I’d love to wake up next to you forever.

45. It hurts me so much to see you this way.

46. If I can’t be with you, then I don’t want to be with anyone else.

47. I am not waiting for a knight in shining armor – mine has already arrived.

48. If your kisses were wishes I would make a 1000 wishes.

49. Life has never been better since you came into my life.

50. I can’t believe we have been together for so long. I guess time flies when you are having fun.

51. I will go to the ends of the world for you.

52. Life without your love is a life I’d rather not live.

53. I love the way you look at me.

54. I trust you with all my heart.

55. Thank you for all you have done for me.

56. The words “I love you” are not enough to express how I feel about you.

57. I can’t find the words to express how you make me feel.

58. You make me feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world.

59. Just being with you is enough for me to have a great time.

60. You don’t have to say a word for me to feel your love.

Life without endearing words is like garden without flowers. Endearing words when spoken transcend sour reality and make life worth living.

Nothing can be more frustrating than being in a relationship for a long time and never talk about marriage. if your man won’t commit, you might start to think if you are wasting your time. Although it is true that a lasting relationship may not need to include marriage, but if you are looking forward to having kids, or a stronger bond can be created through marriage, then a trip to the altar is something you need to do. Men often tells you that there is nothing you can do to change the mind of a commitment phobic. That isn’t always true. There is always something you can do to make a man suddenly decide he wants to marry you.

If your man don’t commit, the very last thing you need to do is to nag at him. A man won’t simply decide he wants to marry the woman he love because she keep going on and on about it. In fact, your constant nagging make him more convince in his decision of not marrying you. One of the best thing any woman can do to make a man commit is to stop bringing the subject up. Men expect to be bombarded by questions on where his relationship is headed. If you don’t bring the subject up, he will be thinking more and more about it.

Another great approach to take if your man doesn’t commit is to make yourself less accessible. One of the issues of long term relationship where there seem to be no commitment is how woman seem to be available. When a woman is always available and willing to adapt to meet her boyfriend’s schedule she’s silently telling him that his needs are more important than hers.

A great test of a man’s true feelings is to make yourself scarce for a few days or weeks. Plan a trip with your girlfriend and when you are out of town, try not to contact your man too often. You want to create a senario where he will start missing you when you are away. It’s that longing to see you that will push him to want to be together with you permanently.

So start testing your man and get him committed.

Do you have any insights to share? Feel free to leave  a comment or two. Happy relationship!

Getting a new girl to like you will not be a cakewalk. It requires a genuine heart, sincere efforts and some romantic actions. Some people fail and others succeed. Whether you have lost or won in getting a girl in previous efforts, the below can surely offer some help in getting a new relationship.

The first is to form a good, positive first impression. Know your body language and always observe good posture. Someone with high self-respect is often someone who dress immaculately, keeps a good hairstyle and may wear some manly scent. Start up a chat with her, but do not let it be just mere chat; find common ground. There are common interests to be found in everyone if you persist. Once you found one, ask her out with one of them as a reason.For example, “You liked X’s music, would you mind helping me find one of her best CDs?”

Then, flirt with her persistently. Whatever that you say to her, be sincere. Never lie. Untrue character will expose itself given enough time. Give compliments if you see something good you want to commend. She will be feel appreciated and will feel good connecting with you. Technology today allows for around-the-clock flirting, with the Short Messaging Service and MSN Messenger, but be careful not to overdo it as it will come across as insincere, or worse, desperate. The rule is to let her feel good without putting yourself down.

Next up is to clearly indicate interest in her. Do romantic things such as putting an arm around her neck when strolling together, touching her hand gently when watching a movie. Buy a gift for her when you see something she will fancy or remind yourself of her. This shows that you are always thinking of her. She will be elated when you do such stuff. Doing such things over a long time will give you experience in getting a girl to like you.

Such things may take time and patience. Even if the girl does not like you initially, over time she may be touched by your sincere efforts and may start liking you. If you are generally a good person, letting her know you well enough will keep up your points in her score.

You have been in the relationship for quite awhile. The initial spark of  passion and love has extinguished and you and your man are either busy with work, kids, friends or other activities.  So now your relationship is taking a backseat and you have realized that you are drifting apart.

So how do you keep your man from straying? Well, the simple answer is to look at the world through his eyes. Try to figure out where you fit in his world. You see, you were his world once upon a time, but now, you are just part of his world. You are certain he still loves you and cherise you. But you just have this lingering feeling that he may be prone to straying.

There is no beating around the bush. Let’s face it, in order to keep him away from straying, you’ve got to be sexually attractive to him. if you are like most couples who just “let it hang out” after so many years in a relationship, the major question you will need to ask yourself, yes maybe your man still love you, but does he lust for you?

If you want to keep your men from straying, you can’t deny that you need to be the woman of his desire, the woman of his fantasies. Now I am not advocating that you change yourself for him. I am merely saying that you need to do what it takes to please him. You want him to fall head-over-heels in love with you all over again, don’t you?

Despite the piling evidence that very few romantic relationship is able to pass the test of time, many still strive for a lasting, committed relationship. The problem is, people don’t have a role model to demonstrate how to make a relationship last. I have found ten elements that are consistently named by relationship expert as guidelines to make a relationship last. 

1. Love Yourself

It will be hard to understand why someone else will love you if you can’t love yourself. There are many ways to build self-esteem, check out the self-help section in your local bookstores or libraries for books on self-esteem and learn to love yourself. If you find it difficult to follow the techniques given or get the results you wanted, consider consulting a psychologist that can help you get to the root of your self-esteem problem. 

2. Like Your Significant Others

It is not enough to simply love your partner. You have to truly like who they are. Liking someone means enjoying who that person is. 

3. Respect Your Partner

 Respecting your partner means being honest and open with them. It also means you have to consider their needs, wants and feelings. Usually, if you really like the person, respect will come naturally, even though everyone will be a little selfish sometimes. It is at this time that you need to constantly remind yourself to think of your partner and their feelings. 

4. Communicate

Being open and honest isn’t always easy. You may find there are times where you don’t want to be honest because you don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings. Remember that your partner can read your mood and though they may not know why, they can tell if you are enjoying yourself. Communicating with your partner of your needs, wants, likes and dislikes allow them to understand your further and also show that you respect them as a confidant.

5. Fight Fair

Sometimes, even with open and honest communication, arguments do happen. Fighting fair when argument do arise allows you to maintain mutual respect in the relationship. Fighting fair means using the “I” statement instead of the “you”. “You” statements are statements of blame and are design to belittle the other party and it doesn’t work towards solving the argument. By using “I” statements, you are able to communicate your point without putting your partner in the defensive.

6. Compromise 

You and your partner should be like a team working towards common life goals. While most people like to “win” arguments, both of you will come out as “big winners” if you compromise on certain issues. Solutions of compromise will allows both parties to contribute to the relationship and come out stronger. 

7. Touch Each Other Everyday

Intimacy is a major component in any romantic relationship and while open communication allows you to be intimate on an intellectual level, some other communication do not need words. A touch on the hand, a hug, small gestures can say alot more to your partner than mere words.

8. Work At It

Romance is easy. Being  a caring and contributing partner take work. People are fairly selfish by nature so most of the time you ought to remind yourself to think of your partner before yourself. It is also important to remember that you need to work on yourself and your contributions to th relationship instead of working towards changing your partner. 

9. Spend Time Together

Couples that play together stay together. Spend time enjoying things together. Whether it’s taking up a hobby together or having a Sunday morning routine where you chat over a cup of coffee, enjoy each other. 

10. Spend Time Apart

As important as it is to spend time together, you also need to spend time with yourself. Learning and growing on your own gives your tools to help build a stronger relationship because you can be a stronger contributor to it. However, not all of your time need to be spend on learning or participating in hobbies, sometimes, just by taking an hour out to meditate or soak in the tub can help clear your mind of stress you otherwise will take out on your partner. 

Many of the ‘secrets’ of lasting relationships aren’t actually secrets at all. Basically, it’s a matter of ensuring that you are with your partner because of who they are and of thinking of your partner before yourself on a regular basis.

I have written on 12 romantic things you can do to let your man know you love him. Now, its time for him to reciprocate. Here are 7 proven ways to make your man more romantic from now on.

1) Pick a time, probably after making love, and tell him that you want him to be more romantic in the future. it sounds dumb I know but why go around circles when you can just go direct? If he loves you and want you to be happy, he will seriously consider to be more romantic in future, for you.

2) reward him when he does something romantic. If he sent flowers gush over them and how thoughtful he is. men like to be told they have done well, and when you give them something special after they done something you like, they will continue to do it. That’s why they say men are like dogs – in a good way.

3) Send him a challenger. Point out what romantic things other guys are doing and see what happens. if you give them another man to compete with, they will constantly strive to outdo the other guy.  Point out how amazingly romantic your friend’s boyfriend is, but don’t overdo it or he will get annoyed.

4) Do romantic things for him. Once he sees that you’re going out of your way to be romantic towards him, he will feel the urge to reciprocate.

5) Set up a romantic dinner each week. Once he have gone into the habit of doing romantic things like having a candle lit dinner, he will do it on his own without your supervision. But first, you must let him know your vision of romance.

6) Rent some romantic videos and point out what those men are doing that are romantic. Don’t have to get him to do the exact same thing but subtly point them out. he will eventually get your hint and start treating your romantically.

7) Convince him that being romantic does not make him any less of a man. Some guys think being romantic is not manly and isn’t something they want their friends to know about. Let him know that he doesn’t have to tell the guys he brought you flowers and took a bubble bath with you.

More often in the world of relationships, it is the men who cheat, rather than the fairer sex. Due to several factors, men are much more likely to cheat than women, and prevention is better than cure. Sometimes when he begins cheating, there will be no “cure”. So take actions quickly to prevent cheating from ever happening.

Men can find excuses to cheat if they like, so examine the different factors that may lead them to cheat. The most common excuse is lack of understanding, or rather communication. It seems that the “other woman” always communicate better. They know how to encourage and show support more than the wife or the current girlfriend. Perhaps the woman should try to understand the man’s point of view in any argument. In any argument, seek to understand, not to win. The voice must not be raised, just speak softly say what you feel. Even if he raises his voice, speak softly; he may realize how gentle and gracious you are. Understanding each others leads for a stronger bond, and if the bond is cherished, the man will never cheat on her. Remember men will prefer “gentle” over “strong” every time.

In most cases, men are more confident than women. Sometimes that confidence grows too much that he believe he can have more than one woman. The law does not prohibit him form having 2 girlfriends either. This will be especially likely if he is financially sound or even rich. Being rich has 2 effects: The first is he will develop great confidence. The second is that girls will flock to him. Since ancient times, women have been looking for rich men to marry.

Sex life is another factor to consider. When a man find that he does not have sex as frequently as he likes, his mind begins to wonder and look for other girls to have sex with. It is not the “quality” of sex that matters; it’s the frequency that he is concerned with. So do not reject the requests too many times. But do remember it’s a mutual pleasure, so if you really do not feel like it, voice it out and let him understand. Explanation works much better than excuses.

The last factor would be one that can be best described as “herd mentality”. Perhaps one of his friends is double-timing and he tells your man how much fun and exciting it is and how much he is enjoying himself. Bad company is one of the reasons many men go bad. This is sort of situation you can help, for men are very loyal to their friends and your disapproval of his friend will be met with anger.

The best way to avoid all these is to understand each other well. When love is very strong, he will only have you, and cheating will not be found in his dictionary.

It is that time of year again where the stores get filled with Valentine’s decorations, red balloons, hearts, flowers, and lover’s cards.  Some people get excited about this time of year, yet other people worry about the lack of funds to do something unique. Good news…you don’t have to spend money on loud restaurants filled with noise and strangers.  You can create romance and enjoy your relationship without spending money.

Here are few FREE Valentine’s Day ideas to help build a strong relationship bond:

Scavenger Hunt: Step out of the box and try something unique by creating a scavenger hunt around your home.  Create clues that include favorite memories together, how you feel about your partner, and other fun items. Be creative and have fun!

Backyard Dinner: Cook a dinner together (yes, it does say ‘together’) and have a romantic dinner in your own back yard.  Set the tone with candles and music.  Show your partner how much they matter by getting dressed up and enjoy the night.  Not only do you get the privacy in your own back yard, but you don’t have a waiter/waitress randomly appearing in your relationship.

Hike and Picnic: Step out of the daily grind of the city life and take a dive into Mother Nature. Find a nearby hiking location and enjoy the scenery with your partner.  The nature of the hike will help you feel up-lifted and positive while bonding together.  First, the exercise of hiking has the body naturally release “happy chemicals” (neurotransmitters) which positively improve the moods. Secondly, nature is calming, tranquil, and beautiful which can automatically create an uplifting feel.  The hike will automatically impact how you both feel internally and you can connect through the hike. After you soak up the beauty of the hike, find a nice place to lie on a blanket and have a picnic.

Game Night by the Fire: Take advantage of the cold weather (even if you live in sunny San Diego like I do) and have a fire in your fire place.  Do you remember how you two used to connect when you first were together?  Find that playful and flirty side and get back into the groove of laughing with one another.  Find how you two used to connect when you first met each other and make it come back alive.  It is there….you simply need to find it again.

Bonfire and S’mores: Since I live in San Diego, I have to put this one in (I am sorry for those who don’t have bonfires as an option).  Why stay at home when you can cuddle up around a bonfire and eat s’mores?  Surprise your partner and take them to a bonfire. Cuddling up with your loved one while eating s’mores is an automatic bonding time…without costing money.

If you have other FREE ideas for Valentine’s Day, share your thoughts and make a comment here!

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I attended a social excursion, recently, wherein I was put on notice by a friend with “you want me to be completely honest with you? Well here goes . . .” Not only did this make me nervous, I braced myself for a barrage, and my fears came true, as a barrage of insulting conjecture came flying forth with a fierceness, I had not yet experienced with my friend.

Often times, couples will come into my office, with a chasm between them seemingly a lifetime long. They display and report hurt and distance and fear and distrust. They go round and round and argue utilizing the same phrases and statements, and tell me these are the same arguments they have at home. Repetitive. Unproductive.

When it is time for apologies, they are often cerebral exercises, “I am sorry” typically stated by the husband and the response is typically the wife stating, “yes, I’ve heard all this before.”

There is often follow up questioning, typically by the wife “but why, why did you do it in the first place?” and there is the husband’s typical come back “I am sorry, I won’t do it again.”

Sometimes, these conversations or variations of this conversation occur over and over, session after session. Sometimes, ultimately, the repetitious feedback loop with alter and new information will be divulged, perhaps something like . . . “I’m sorry, I did it because, I didn’t want to be around you . . . that’s why.”

At this point in the session, the other party, often the wife, will frequently cry at the new revelation.

This is where the entire dynamic changes.

I observe an entire shift in the relationship dynamic, right before my very eyes. The husband, typically observing the tears, will begin to shift endlessly in his seat, talk compulsively, look away, and will appear to become extraordinarily uncomfortable.

When I ask him the standard therapeutic question, “what is going on for you right now?” He’ll often reply, “I have no idea what to do . . . when she cries . . . I can’t fix it.” Upon further probing from me, the rationale often whittles down to “I feel . . . helpless.”

So, the alternative? Save the wife from hurting, save the husband from feeling helpless, alter, conceal, or omit the truth.

This plan of relationship survival comes into my office over and over. It’s often unconscious and takes awhile to uncover. It’s inception is noble . . . saving someone’s feelings from hurt. Who wouldn’t think this logic charitable? Unfortunately, the outcome is far different than the intended. The unfortunate impact, I’ve observed, is a decay in trust. The wife wonders if her husband has ever been honest with her, causes her to ask herself if she’s just a fool, feels shut out of husband’s inner world, and the husband feels more and more criticized by his wife – despite his best intentions!

An antidote? Honesty.

Not the aforementioned type of honesty, at the beginning of this article. Brutal honesty is far different than emotional honesty, taking personal responsibility kind of honesty, revealing oneself, kind of honesty . . . this self revelatory, real, intimacy- building kind of honesty may, at times, wound the other person. It will not destroy the other person.

Brutal honesty tends to come out in a blast, accusatory, full of intensity, sometimes in anger, and tends to induce the desire to move away. It can be experienced as criticism.  Emotional honesty tends to come out softer, full of emotion, tentative, and induce the feeling of compassion in the other person. Despite the benefits of emotional honesty, it appears to be the most difficult to achieve.

This level of honesty requires the ability to tolerate being uncomfortable for a little while, to accept one may not be able to fix it, in the moment, or spare one’s spouse pain. It means allowing one’s spouse to have their own feelings.

The deep traumatic pain individuals tend to disclose is typically related to abandonment and betrayal. These tend to be the most intense, unbearables in intimate relationships. Honesty about one’s inner experience is not something typically reported in therapy as ultimately destructive to marriages.

Sharing the complete self can lead to an intimacy deeper than ever imagined, can strengthen the compassion, can lead to a profound understanding of one another . . . and isn’t that ultimately, what we all crave . . . to be heard and understood?

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Interrupting can be a bad habit….and it automatically shuts down lines of communication. When we are so eager and in hurry to get our point across, it is difficult to slow down and not interrupt the other person.  The quick interjection and cutting off the other person sends out a bad message that they don’t matter. The receiving end can feel as if your invisible, what you have to say does not matter, and you’re not important.    There are good intentions bind this approach, yet it unfortunately sends the opposite message.

Here are a few quick tips on how to stop the bad habit of interrupting:

Remember it’s Not Your Turn: Remind yourself that it is your partner’s turn to talk.  Have your mind focused on your partner and what they are saying.  It is their turn, so your job is to simply listen and try to understand what it is like to be in their shoes.

Bite your Tongue: If you disagree or have something to say, bite your tongue, pinch your arm, and count to 10 in your head.  Slow down your response and help keep yourself ground by biting your tongue.

Breathe: Take a deep breath to calm down your reaction and remember that you want your partner to be active in the relationship.  Sometimes just taking a breath will help slow down our reactions.

Take a Mental Note: If something comes to mind, take a mental note to share your point of view later.  Your voice and your views matter, so take note of it and bring it up when it is your turn to talk.

Active Listening: Put into practice the active listening tool.  Your job at that moment is to show your partner that you are listening, try to understand what your partner is saying, and stop thinking about what your next response will be.  Start active listening, stop talking, and stop the active interruptions.

Value Your Partner: Successful communication is to make your partner feel important, emotionally safe, and that they matter.  When communicating, make it your personal goal to send the message that your partner is important and what they have to say matters. Remember that your partner has value.

Take Turns: Create 20 minutes of uninterrupted discussions and take turns sharing your views, ideas, and thoughts.  One person gets to be the talker and other person gets to be the listener.  Take turns on each side.

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