Most of us have some experience in painful break ups and though we manage to recover on our own way and time, we seem helpless and not know what to do when something similar happen to our close friends. In time like these, though it is commendable to be supportive of your friend, but other than that, you will also need to find some way to help your friend through this difficult time.

At this stage, try to be patient and understanding towards your friend. Always remember that only time can heal their wounds. Don’t expect them to deal with their problems your way as difficult people have different ways of dealing with mourning and coping with their emotions. Try to encourage them to talk about their feelings instead of bottling them up. This will help them feel emotionally better. 

Most often than not, we tend to blame ourselves when relationships break down. At this stage, your friend might be feeling very miserable for blaming himself/herself for the end of the relationship. Assure your friend and remind him/her of their good qualities and how much they have contributed to the relationship. 

Even though you might feel unhappy with your friend’s ex for hurting them, do not say anything negative about them because your friend have just gone through the brunt of the break up and it is highly possible that your friend may be still in love with their ex. By criticizing their ex, it will only make your friend feel worse about the whole relationship. 

Suggest doing some activities with your friend so as to distract him/her from thinking of the break up. If it is possible, try spending more time with them and bring them on a short trip to forget the relationship and unwind. 

Never advice your friend to date someone new just to forget their ex. At this point in time, they might still be emotionally hurt and is not ready to go into a new relationship. Even if they do date someone new, it is highly possible that your friend is taking the partner as a substitute and its unfair to the other party involved. Be supportive of their actions but at the same time, maintain a rational mindset. 

If your friend have a serious suicidal thoughts, you should advice them to go for professional counselling. You have to put it in a suggestive way so as not to hurt your friend’s feelings and also to avoid strain in relationship. 

We all understand that it is not easy to cope with a break up and sometimes, it is very painful and frustrating for you to see your friend go through all these. However, if you can be supportive and patient towards them, they will appreciate whatever you have done and will come out from the other side much stronger and happier. 

We all make mistakes in love, but sometimes, in a heat of the moment, we make decisions that will throw us into regret and when we realize we have lost the ones we love.

Dale Carneige, the famous author of How to Win Friends & Influence People pointed out that you can win more friends in two months by being interested in others than you can in two years by making others interested in you. 

Although Dale Carnegie died in 1955, his work in personal development still lives on. His book, How to Win Friends & Influence People first began publishing in 1937 and have since been the grandfather of “People Skills” books. 

Because of his great understanding of human nature, his books and fundamental teaching are just as popular as they were before. In fact, the title of his book is so widely used as a phrase, that some people who say it that may not even know where the phrase ‘how to win friends and influence people’ comes from.

Here are his six solid principles of making others like you: 

Becoming genuinely interested in others

I believe you have met some people who seem interested in you but some how you sense that they aren’t. There don’t seem to be genuine in you and we sometimes label them as ‘phoney’. This could be one rare case of ‘fake it until you make it’ that won’t work. So, how do you become genuinely interested in others? Well, you can start by asking them questions, learn more about what they do, what they like. everyone like to talk about themselves. Get them to talk about their dreams.

Smile 

There is nothing much to add here. If you are not doing it right now, remember to smile the next time you walk into a room. That smile is your people magnet. 

Use a person´s name

Remember that a person’s name is the sweetest and most important sound no matter what language it is. Just like in the old romantic movies: “Oh, John… John!” “Oh, Mary, dear Mary!”

Be a good listener

Encourage others to talk about themselves. If you do this sincerely and is interested in the other person, you cannot fail to encourage the other party to feel valued and appreciated. This is one of the key trait for anyone who have mastered people skills. 

Talk in terms of the other person’s interests

The same principle ass above. This principle stress the importance of listening and communicating in term of what the other person like. If you do not know what to talk about, let their response guide the direction of your conversation and you will enjoy a solid rapport that encourages friendship

Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely

This is a tricky one. This principle cannot be fake for long. Look for the good in others and respect their beliefs and lifestyles, even if they do not make sense to you. This flexibility is important if you are to respect others. 

His last three points, tie into the first. How to win friends and influence people is a book that reminds us that anything you do from a place of fellowship will have a good result. He uses this fable to prove his point:

The sun and the wind were arguing about who was the strongest. The wind pointed at an old man. The wind said that he’d prove his strength by getting the man to remove his coat. He blew and howled and blew some more.

The old man clung to his coat more than ever. When the wind finally gave up, the sun came out from behind a cloud and shone brightly. Soon the man was wiping his forehead and removing his coat.

As you have already found out, making new friends is an art by itself, since not many of us have a long list of friends. The more friends you make, the more you will grow in your social stature and personality. In order to make new friends, you must be friendly in nature as well as having sweet disposition. There are alot of ways you can make new friends. Being extrovert and outgoing can be the deciding factor when it comes to making new friends.

Friendship is made out of trust for each other and understanding each other’s belief. Though it does take awhile to gain trust and understand one’s belief, its not that hard. Experts suggest that, to make new friends, you need to get close to the person.This is also called the cultural barrier. Its an emotional barrier that prevent your future friend to trust you. Once the barrier is breach, you may start creating meaningful friendship. 

There are other ways of making new friends and here are some popular ways you can try to create friendship. To make new friends, you have to create an atmosphere where the other person will feel at ease to your manners and attitude. Never allow your new friend to get bored to what you say. Rude behavior or boorishness are a strict no-no. 

Another easy method for making friends is using the FORM system. FORM system is known to create a good atmosphere of friendship and companionship. FORM simply means Family, Occupation, Recreation & Message. Most of us have our family, relatives or siblings. When you enquire any person about his/her family, you’re making sure that his/her immediate concerns are first addressed, which draws that person towards your circle, a slow step by step. Everyone of us love to talk about ourselves, our family, children etc. 

Once you know the family status of your new friend, then the next question will be to ask about his/her occupation. Another area we love to talk about is our jobs and position and what we have achieve. By enquiring about occupation, you’re ensuring that you are coming much closer to other person’s inner circle. 

The third step is to casually talk about his/her recreation. Does your new friend like pets? What do they do during weekends? During this stage, you are probably inching much closer to a new friendship. Talk anything about those wonderful hobbies and sports. Exchange views and ideas, which are mutually beneficial to both of you.

Probably the most important step is the “Message” step, when you should leave out a message that is easy to remember by the other person. This final message must also bear your address and contact number in form of a visiting card. Message may include something about your name, profession, address and your honest opinion about the person whom you’re trying to make new friends with. Never forget to say thank you at the end of the conversation and always keep your options open, to decide if you want to be friends with the other person. Follow up with that person if you’re keen on making a new friendship. But remember friendships are about give and take, and supporting each other. Never hurt their sentiments and emotions in any manner. Be courteous and gentle, especially if the other person happens to be a woman.