3 Jealousy Mistakes To Avoid If You Want To Be Jealous-Free
Yesterday, a woman wrote to us and told us that she didn’t want her boyfriend to see that she was getting information about jealousy so she didn’t want any more of our jealousy tips.
While we certainly don’t take it personally when a person decides they don’t want to get our emails any longer…
In this case, we couldn’t help sharing a few observations and mistakes she’s making that may help and encourage you to keep moving in the direction of a jealousy-free life.
If jealousy is a problem for you in your relationship or marriage…
We HIGHLY recommend you attend this special online class we’re doing next week…
This special one-time only class is called ….
“Discover The Jealousy Cure”
It will run about 70 minutes and you can listen by phone or in front of your computer from anywhere in the world.
This is for ANYONE who wants to take know the secrets to getting rid of jealousy forever.
Learn more or sign up here… “Discover the Jealousy Cure”
To give you a sneak peak at what we’ll be covering in next week’s class, here are 3 jealousy mistakes to avoid right now…
Mistake #1– Trying to hide your jealousy
Even though you might think no one knows you’re jealous and you think you’re doing a pretty good job hiding it, it’s usually pretty obvious, especially to your partner-so trying to hide it is useless and can really back-fire on you.
Does that mean you go around announcing it to everyone, especially your partner, when it comes up for you?
Of course not.
But it’s important for you to acknowledge it to yourself that you need help in stopping your jealous thoughts and behavior–and not shove your feelings under the rug, hoping no one sees the evidence of your jealousy.
We’ve talked to many people with jealousy issues and the partner always can tell when a jealousy episode comes up.
Maybe you tighten up your face or pull back physically. Maybe you stop breathing and the fear on your face is plain for everyone to see.
Trying to hide your jealousy can back-fire on you because in trying to hide it, you are actually becoming more distant from your partner and pushing him or her away.
What you fear happening–your partner leaving you–may end up happening, not because of what you fear but because of YOUR actions to avoid it.
We’re guessing that’s not what you want, right?
While you don’t want to become a broken record about this issue…
It may be helpful for you to talk to your partner about it (if he or she is open to it) and work out some ways that he or she can support you when jealousy happens.
If you do this and you know that your partner isn’t really doing anything terribly wrong that should cause your jealousy (your jealousy came up because of what you fear will happen in the future–for example, he or she will leave–and not that you caught him or her cheating or have strong suspicions of it)…
Make sure to not get hung up on blame but rather approach your discussion with what you are willing to do to help yourself and especially what your partner might do to help you.
The point is–deal with it–don’t try to hide it.
Mistake #2–Pretending to yourself that your jealousy problem will go away by itself.
It won’t.
If jealous thoughts and behaviors come up, they are simply your bigger self trying to get your attention.
You need to either heal some thought, belief or situation that happened in your past or something that is actually happening right now that you need to look at objectively and deal with it.
If you try to push down jealous feelings and not deal with them, they will only come out in other ways–like inappropriate anger at something that has nothing to do with the event that triggered your jealousy.
Believe us when we say, the straightest route to stopping jealous thoughts and behavior is NOT pretending that if you ignore it, it will go away.
It will only get bigger.
Mistake #3–Not getting the help you need to stop your jealousy.
In our work with people who have a challenge with jealousy, one of the biggest feelings is shame.
They are ashamed and embarrassed that they are jealous and look at it as an affliction that they shouldn’t have and that they need to hide it.
Susie certainly felt this way when she was going through her jealousy challenge years ago!
If this describes you, do a mind switch right now and say to yourself something like this…
“Okay, so I’m jealous. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and I can heal it.”
Just like any change you want to make in your life, you need some help doing it.
We all need help making changes and it certainly doesn’t make you a “bad” or “weak” person if you can’t stop being jealous on your own.
In fact, not asking for help might be considered “weak.”
So, if you’re struggling with jealousy, get help and get committed to making the small changes that will help you become jealousy-free.
It’s doable–and we urge you to start right now!
If you want more of our help in stopping the jealousy in your relationship and life…
Be sure to attend the special “Discover The Jealousy Cure” class we’re doing next week that we mentioned earlier in this email
We also offer some other great resources for overcoming jealousy.
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