10 Smart Relationship Tips For Second Half of 2010
We hope you haven’t made the same mistake we have.
In fact, this isn’t like us at all.
it’s already the middle of January and we’re just now getting around to thinking about and working on our relationship, life and business goals for 2010…
It’s not an excuse but it’s a fact…
We’ve been so busy working on a brand new relationship program for you that will available soon that we’ve totally blown past the last few weeks.
Up until now we haven’t put much thought into thinking about or setting any new goals for 2010.
When we realized this a day or two ago…
We asked ourselves a really important question:
What are some things ANYONE (including us) could start doing right now that would have an immediate positive impact on their love life and relationships in 2010?
So, we came up with 10 tips you’re going to love…
1. Spend more time really connecting with other people.
Facebook and twitter are great tools for connecting– but to us, it’s the personal interaction of in-person or telephone communication that we think really connects us.
Let’s face it.
When you’re facebooking and twittering (or doing any of the many other forms of social networking) in most cases you’re doing other things too.
You’re multi-tasking.
Nothing wrong with multi-tasking but if you really want to build strong lasting connections, it’s always best to do it one-on-one and to make sure you’re totally “present” when you’re with another person.
In fact, when you’re jealous of your partner in social situations (and he or she really isn’t doing anything to warrant your jealousy)–you aren’t connecting and being present with the people you’re with.
Your body might be standing there and you might be talking but your attention and mind are on who your partner is talking to and what he or she is doing.
You’re multi-tasking when it comes to being with others–and that’s a recipe for disaster for your intimate relationship as well as your other relationships.
2. Spend more time in the bedroom.
In our book and audio program, “Red Hot Love Relationships”, we give you 77 ways to turn up the heat in your relationship both in and out of the bedroom if you want more
intimacy and a deeper connection with your partner or lover.
It’s seems like such a simple suggestion but if you want more love, connection, passion and intimacy…
….spend more time in the bedroom.
No TV. No Kids. Just Laugh. Love. Talk. and Connect.
Whatever that means to you.
3. Spend more time loving yourself.
How often do you spend time beating yourself up?
If you’re like most people, much more than you realize.
One important question we like to ask around this topic is–”What is the most loving act you could do for yourself right now?”
Not what you could do for someone else or your community but YOU.
Give yourself the gift of loving you.
Start by just acknowledging one thing you like, love or appreciate about yourself and then you might want to turn it into a full blown love affair with you.
4. Forgive Yourself.
That’s right… forgive yourself for whatever you are holding onto that you resent yourself for.
You’ll be much freer, lighter and much more fun to be with if you do this.
Most of us are carrying years of resentments from things we wish we would have handled differently, relationships that would have been different, times you wish you had been more loving or kind or even things like financial deals gone bad or punishing yourself for getting fired or laid off from a job you really wanted or needed.
It’s time to forgive yourself.
5. Spend more time alone in solitude or meditating.
Even if it’s 5 minutes a day, spend time alone with just your thoughts and allow your mind some space to slow down and stop racing.
A couple of months ago, we started a new meditation practice that we do for about 10-15 minutes right before going to bed that makes a big difference in both of us–both in our night’s sleep and what we’re like the next day
when we do our new practice.
Something as simple as taking a five minute walk alone every day can work miracles in your life.
You might even simply take a 2 minute deep breathing break.
The key is to find some time every day to be alone.
6. Say something nice, positive or uplifting to your partner, spouse or lover at least once a day.
This is such a simple thing.
Everyone loves wants to feel loved, appreciated and understood.
Telling them something small like “I really loved seeing your smile last night at dinner” or “I’m so proud of you for
the way you’ve been doing __________” or “I’m glad you’re my partner, husband / wife, friend” can really make your relationship sing.
Try it. One positive thing a day. Who knows, you may want to do more than one a day after you see what it does for you and your relationship.
7. Stop Talking On Eggshells
Life’s too short to hold back from opening your heart and mind to the people closest to you.
If there is any part of you that worries about what someone else’s reaction might be or what they’ll say think or how they’ll react when you share what’s real for you– then we suggest you download a copy of our
“Stop Talking On Eggshells” program right now
One word of caution here about giving yourself permission to “Stop Talking On Eggshells”– when you do this, don’t think this gives you permission to go overboard and treat the other person any way you’d like just because you make a new decision to not hold back any more.
8. Learn To “Question Your Thoughts…”
This is something we’ve learned to do over the past few years that has changed EVERY aspect of our lives for the better.
What we find is that our minds work overtime.
If you’re like most people, you’re constantly thinking and believing thoughts that take you away from what it is you want.
What we’re suggesting you do is to “question” your thoughts that you think that take you away from what you want to see “Are they true?”
Most of the time they aren’t true–no matter how much we want to believe them.
9. Commit, really commit to being In whatever relationships you’re In…
One of the biggest contributors to pain and disconnection in relationships and marriages is people who are in the relationship but not really in them.
We’ve had many people who were trying to decide whether to stay in or leave a relationship buy our “Should You Stay or Should You Go?” program and then tell us later that they had no idea how much they had already “left” the relationship until they really took a look at their thoughts and behavior.
If you are in a relationship–really commit to it, stay in it and do everything you can to make it the best you could ever possibly imagine.
At some point, you may decide that this relationship isn’t right for you anymore. But, if you’re in it–commit , really commit to it.
10. Spend less time in your mind and more time in your heart.
This means, spend less time making up stories about how things won’t work out, how awful a situation is.
Spend more time finding the “loving” and living from that place of love, kindness and possibility rather than fear.
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